This is the last week I have at home with Jonah before my internship. It's amazing how much a baby rearranges everything for you. When Jason and I got married we went through pre-marital classes. While we were in the classes, everyone kept talking about mom's staying at home like it was a given that everyone wanted to do that. I certainly did not want to do that, I was going to college and I was going to be an educated mom with a career who could do it all. I'm so glad that Dean and Dorothy let me think that's what I wanted to do.
I am still more then confident that I can do it all, because I have to. I have to start my internship in a week and leave my 13 week old baby home every day with Daddy (until he gets a fabulous job) and Nonny while I go and finish up what I need to to get my degree. I realized today that he is growing up so ridiculously fast every day and I can't do anything about it, so I stood in the middle of Old Navy and started to cry...not alot, but I'm sure that's coming. I honestly don't think that I was cut out to be a SAHM, but I can definitely stand to be a WAHM. I have started a Mary Kay business which will eventually replace my income and allow me to be with Jonah all day and go play with make-up a few evenings a week.
I am so not looking forward to leaving Jonah every day. What if I miss the first time he crawls or his first step or the first time he says mama and I'm not here for him. It's going to be a long long semester, but I will make it... we will all make it.
Comments (2)
Girl, I know what you mean. I've been there too. It'll stink at first, but you guys will adjust. Before you know it you'll have your routine down. I'm not looking forward to going back to work after Kasen comes either, but I know it's whats best for me. I would go crazy being at home all the time. I need my time away and the stimulation for my brain! I would love to work 1 day a week. Maybe one day...
It will be hard...I never had to do it...all my life, all I wanted to do was be a SAHM and I am so thankful that God allowed that to happen. But you are an amazing mom and you will make it work. Don't worry (or try not to worry) about all those what ifs...you are Jonah's mommy and he will know that you are there for him.
Besides, you're going to make it big in the Mary Kay business and get to stay home....so get busy!! :)
Love ya